"Yes, that is a pretty good sized bowl of mac n' cheese. But it's still an eight dollars for mac n' cheese."
Vincent Vega would not eat here.
As much as I wish I could live off Panera's Chicken Tortelini Alfredo, my current favorites are the black bean soup and Asian sesame chicken salad. Both are low calorie, low fat, little to no cholesterol, and damn tasty.
An occasional chocolate chip cookie for dessert of course, which completely negates everything I just said in the last paragraph, but is still pretty good.
Panera, feel free to stop reading and send me a check now. Or some coupons or whatever.
Of course I'm sure many of you are asking one of of two things at this point.
"Since when did Keith start writing a food blog?"
"That's good and fine, but dammit man, but quit holding us in suspense! What do you get to drink?"
Beverages are that important.
Stealing clear from pop, I'm having a small love affair with their green tea.
Truthfully I don't even like green tea, but I do drink a ton of it. Usually with honey. Lots and lots of honey.
Thankfully at Panera, no honey is needed. It tastes great. But there's still one minor problem. Not with the tea itself, but recall I'm going to Panera on my lunchbreaks. I usually get a refill on my way out and continue to sip at it over the next five hours or so.
Damn good stuff!
But every day, without fail, one coworker or another spots the cup of green tea and sizes it up like it might bite them. The typical question is this: "What is that? Piss?"
Seriously. Yesterday four separate people asked the same question. Not sarcastically. Not to be funny or clever. They're straight faced. Borderline concerned. Clear objection to the possibly threatening drink before them. So much so that they have to belittle it.
"What are you drinking? That's not... Is that piss?"
Now, let's just take a step back and consider the fact that I work with people so unfamiliar with the sight of iced tea that it puzzles them.
And a curious fact about this is that there's a solid chance some of them may very well pee green.