Longtime readers of This Worthless Life know that we're fond of a particular phrase. "Corkscrew dildo."
And there's a perfectly rational reason behind this.
Although to be honest, I really don't think we need a reason to laugh at those two little words.
Anyway, early on when my muse and I were still getting to know each other, my sense of humor was turned up to eleven. Because, you know, she's gorgeous and I was compensating for all my being hideous and stuff. That being said, I have a severe tendency to get a little dark and tasteless in my joking around. And I'll never remember what I specifically said to her, likely something along the lines of dead babies being spartan kicked into some bottomless goatse pit. Or at least something about as sophisticated as such imagery. And I immediately became conscious of how awkward and fucked up I am, so naturally I apologized. And she responded with. "That's okay. I'm more fucked up than a corkscrew dildo."
And in that moment I remember thinking, "I love you." I didn't say it because if there was one more thing more fucked up than dead babies being spartan kicked into some bottomless goatse pit, it was those three little words. But it was the feeling.
That said, I made the below image in fond memory of her words. Enjoy!