Monday, May 5, 2014

On naming social groups

For a story I'm working on I just had to look up what a group of ferrets are called. I knew that a gathering of crows is a murder. Penguins are a colony. Bees are a hive. Ferrets, I didn't know.

Apparently they're called a business.

This seems highly inappropriate. I don't know if you've ever seen ferrets in action, but there are far better things we could call them. A tornado of ferrets. A clown car of ferrets. A holy shit that's a lot of ferrets of ferrets.

And that got me thinking. Why don't we ever name groups of people in similar fashion? For humans it's pretty much group, gang, tribe, or population. But never anything fun.

"That's a group of teenagers." 

"There goes a group of senior citizens."

I think we can do better. And just to give you guys an idea of much fun we could be having in naming groups of people, I'm going to offer you several highly practical applications to get us started.

People in Groups

  1. A kegger of sports fans
  2. A scurvy of goth kids
  3. A conspiracy of politicians
  4. A parchment of poets
  5. A gravity of scientists
  6. A dadaism of toddlers
  7. A procession of mall walkers
  8. A commercial of pop stars
  9. A conformity of hipsters
  10. A literacy test of Walmart shoppers
  11. An abandon of retail workers
  12. A scribble of doctors
  13. An error of customers
  14. A patience of nurses
  15. A hairball of cat owners
  16. A smother of grandparents
  17. A bigotry of minorities
  18. A felony of minors
  19. A crossword of therapists
  20. A Phish of stoners
  21. A calamity of stock brokers
  22. A bumper car of drunk drivers
  23. A butt plug of managers

Well that's all I've got. Feel free to comment with more.

1 comment:

  1. Yes.... there is a flashbulb of prompts in this.