Monday, December 23, 2013


I saw the trailer for the new Godzilla movie.

Have you guys seen it?

Let's take a look!

Man, that looks exciting! We've got skydiving. We've got subways being torn to shreds. Giant claws. And did you hear that roar?

One question.

What exactly was the mission there for the skydivers?

"Men, you're the most elite soldiers this country has to offer. You've faced terrorists. You've thwarted wars. You've been training your entire lives to face the impossible. And now, the eight or so of you are going to leap into native soil and seize the day."

"Great! What's our objective?"

"Oh, don't worry about that! You'll know it when you see it."

"...What? Are you sure? Shouldn't we plan a little more? What does satellite surveillance tell us? How many tangos can we expect to face."

"You'll be facing one tango."

"Well that doesn't sound so bad. What's he armed with?"

"Nothing. In fact, your enemy has no knowledge of weaponry of any sort. And don't worry about collateral damage. Everything in the surrounding area has already been destroyed."

"Okay. Let's talk camouflage."

"Everything else has been decimated so you'll be the only moving objects for miles around. You'll be jumping late afternoon, but just in case your enemy can't spot you we'll be lighting bright red flares on your ankles. Good luck, fuckers!"

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