I was making myself lunch this afternoon and it randomly occurred to me that it's been a long time since I've made a film. I used to make short movies in high school, and if I ever figure out a way to embarrass myself by putting them online, I will definitely post them here. Anyways, I guess it's been about fourteen or fifteen years since I've actually developed a movie. And it's not exactly something I have time to just take up again. I have school. I have two jobs. I'm balls deep in editing my next novel. I don't have time to take up amateur film making while I'm at it. Still, it was a sad thought. Not having time to do the oh so many things that I love. So, while making some nachos, I decided to indulge the feeling. I gave myself three minutes to come up with a story with a definite arc of beginning, middle, and end. There had to be a protagonist and antagonist, along with rising action. There had to be some amount of symbolism, along with a commentary on life. And it had to be at least a little comedic. And I had to film it with my phone before my food was ready.
Here's what I came up with:
THE INCREDIBLY DEEP AND PROFOUND KICK IN THE PANTS OF LIFE
Starring and directed by
Keith Blenman
Oh...my...god. I have never seen anything so perfect in all my life. I am shedding tears of joy, sorrow, understanding, and because I stubbed my toe on the desk.
ReplyDeleteIt has everything! Comedy, life symbolism, chocolate, your hand, and chocolate.
I can only hope for a two and a half hour, 3D remake starring Danzel Washington and Anna Torv. Soundtrack by Trent Reznor. Directed by David Fincher. Damen Lindelof can spice up the script with lots of unnecessary ambiguity.
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